Ice.....deadly but awe-inspiring in it's beauty.

Blessed we have only experienced 1 power outage lasting a mere 4 hours.

Sorrow as I stand outside the door and listen to the dark. The night filled with the creaks, groans and echoes of trees surrendering limbs and more to the unbearable weight of their burden.

It sounds as if the mountains are dying.

Frozen. Saddened. Melancholia, my familiar winter companion. Welcome. I shall embrace you and wear you as a cloak during these days drear.

Picture below taken about 10 hours ago. It will be a much more desolate sceane at daybreak.

For the past few years, I have started off the year with a post here. Some were about my neglect of my blog, all mentioned the need to lose weight.

This year was different. I thought about posting, but really needed some more time to think & consider.

As for so many in our country, it was a shocking year. One full of dismal news headlines and politicians showing just how low they could go. It was a year of personal change and sorrow, as well. Mom passed in February and I came home to promptly lose my job. Changing jobs multiple times in one year is never a fun thing, but going back to the floral design was an incredibly empowering choice. It has also been healing.

In the midst of settling in to the new/old job at Sam's came the move. The writing was on the wall. Doug's health has deteriorated to the point that living in the 2 story house on the lake was no longer feasible. In the midst of a July heatwave we came to our new home out in the hills east of Fayetteville. Funny thing, this move has ended up being healing for me, as well. We love our country cottage and the view out our sunroom windows is amazing.

Tomorrow will mark Doug's and mine 20th wedding anniversary. As any marriage, it has had it's ups & downs, but I am so blessed to have found this love. As I watch him slip more and more each day, I wonder though...what will I do?

As for the weight thingy? I lost that 25 lbs last year. I would not recommend the method though, as it was life changes and situations, rather than a diet regime.

A bright spot was the birth of my second granddaughter. Ezmah Jane Perridon arrived in this world on August 21, 2008, which was also big sister Raine's first day of kindergarten. Both girls, along with their mommy & daddy brighten my darkest days.

Another bright spot was Tony & Jessica moving back to Northwest Arkansas. Tony will begin NWAC tomorrow. He continues with his sobriety and will mark his 4th anniversary of that in May. I am so damn proud of my baby boy.

I've also begun doing wedding floral design and consulting on a private basis. It is exhausting and exhilirating, all at the same time. I hope to grow it enough to eventually cut the hours at Sam's. I want as much time at home as I can get these days. Of course, I have to put in a plug for my site on this little venture. Check out http://www.rainedropsonroses.com

I'll close with a picture of the view of my beautiful Ozark Hills. I hope the New Year can bring some healing for our nation. I also hope all my friends are well and have a wonderful upcoming year.

shhh.......don't tell anyone, but......

I really, really enjoy spending a Sunday afternoon on the sofa in my flannel pj's, covered up with my fuzzy throw and watching a dumb chick flick type movie. It's even better when my puppy and cats will curl up & sleep on top of me.

Of course I am happy right now. I am many things. Hopeful, mindful of how much needs to be done, filled with pride at being a small part of such a monumental time.

I'm full of many emotions right now. I don't know that I have ever felt this way. Our country has strayed so far down a dark and dismal path, yet I have hope we can turn things around....

I'm just rambling. I can't put together cogent words to express all of this....

I'll just say, once again..........

YES WE CAN!

I've always loved his films. After hearing him in a number of interviews on current events, issues and politics, I fell in love with his mind.

Now I find his prowess in writing takes my breath away.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-cusack/no-currency-left-to-buy-t_b_140250.html

yeah, I heart John Cusack......but I'm not gonna stalk him like that crazy chick did. *grin*

in a red state (unless a Clinton is running) went and cast her vote today. Thank goodness for early voting. There was still an hour long wait in line, but the sun was shining and the crowd patient and for the most part cheerful outside the county clerk sattelite office.

I cannot recall being this enthused about casting my vote since my first election. While 1992 was a hopeful and exciting time, it was not anywhere near what this one is. Of course, we weren't in the desperate times we are now...and as much as I thought of Clinton and his oratory prowess, nothing had prepared me for Obama.

Interestingly enough, in my travels through both counties of my corner of the state these past few days, I have seen far more Obama/Biden signs than McCain/Palin.

I'd like to think that means people are coming to their senses, but maybe it's just that the Obama supporters are more outgoing and inclined to show the world their pride in their candidate. I have to wonder though, are some of these die-hard Republicans becoming ashamed to admit their allegience? Are they perhaps luke-warm about their candidate?

Coming from a staunchly Republican family, I can honestly say the so-called values espoused by many in the supposed 'base' of the party are not what my grandparents believed in. They are quite contrary to the values I was taught by my honest, hard-working, Christian grandmother. She passed in 1977. I wonder what she would have to say about the fanatacism that seems to have placed a strangle hold on her party of choice.

It's going to be a long night, day and night waiting for results. I only hope we have a clear victory and not a debacle as in 2000 and 2004. I don't think our country can take another election decision such as those.

October 20, 1979
Things I did not know then.

1) I did not know you were a girl or that you would be born the next day.
2) I did not know that being a mother meant my heart would be broken more times than I could count, but would grow stronger each time I put it back together.
3) I did not know I could love someone as much as I do you.
4) I did not know you would love books as much as I do.
5) I did not know you would leave me breathless.
6) I did not know you would love chocolate.
7) I did not know you would hate vegetables
8) I did not know you would make me laugh more than anyone I have ever known.
9) I did not know you would make me real.
10) I did not know you would be my hero.
11) I did not know you couldn't sing any better than I can.
12) I did not know your favorite color would be purple.
13) I did not know you would be so smart it scared me.
14) I did not know you would be the most beautiful person I have ever known.
15) I did not know I would find the strength to change my life because you needed me to.
16) I did not know I would die the next day.
17) I did not know they would be able to bring me back.
18) I did not know how lucky I was to be your mom.
19) I did not know you would be the best thing that had ever happened to me.
20) I did not know you would be my best friend forever.

Now I know.

No matter what type of music you prefer, this speaks to your soul...

It is with great sadness that I bid farewell to a phrase that I have used for some years now. The phrase was the title of a blog I once had. It has been a tag line in forums. It has been a strongly held belief.

There is a little problem, though. It is a small problem, to be sure. Only 5 letters to be precise.

You see....the phrase is "You Gotta Sin To Get Saved"

Ah yes, I love the philosophy still. Alas, I shall not utter it again. You see, I have removed the word 'gotta' from my personal lexicon for all time. Yes, I am still a southern hillbilly type of gal. Yes, I can sling colloquilisms with the best of them. What I cannot do is abide Sarah Palin. And it seems she is utterly incapable of speaking to the press without using the statement "you gotta".

So......farewell You Gotta Sin To Get Saved. I shall miss you, but Sarah has stolen you from me.

I read this earlier this evening and thought wow, just wow. This man is telling us what we need to hear and more importantly, what the media needs to hear. Sadly, I don't think they are able to listen. Their controllers won't let them.

The citizens of Vermont should be proud of Sen. Bernie Sanders. He is one of a rare breed, a true statesman. You don't have to agree with all his stands to see that he truly does believe in government that works FOR the people, not the wealthy few.

This is his recent post I found on Huffington Post.

THIS ELECTION IS NOT A SOAP OPERA OR A FOOTBALL GAME: IT IS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY

by Senator Bernie Sanders

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rep-bernie-sanders/this-election-is-not-a-so_b_124889.html


The corporate media would have us believe, based on their coverage, that the most important issues in this presidential campaign are political tactics and the "character" of the four candidates. But what is at stake right now is not primarily the life stories of Barack Obama, John McCain, Joe Biden or Sarah Palin. An election is not a soap opera which deals with the trials and tribulations of the candidates and their family members. Election coverage must not descend into becoming a pre-game football show, one which deals only with "who's going to win" polling data and never-ending tactical discussions of "what the candidate must do" to win this or that state.

In a democracy, elections are not beauty pageants or reality shows, or soap operas for political junkies. Elections are the real business of democracy, and they should be about real things.

Without sounding too corny, what this election is about is the well-being of hundreds of millions of Americans and about what kind of country we will be leaving to our kids and grandchildren. And, at a time of global warming and severe environmental problems, this campaign is also about whether our planet survives in a condition that can sustain human life in the decades and centuries to come.

Given all that is at stake, as American citizens we must demand that the media not continue to trivialize our democratic process, dumb down coverage and, in the process, deflect attention away from the most important issues impacting our lives. This election must, first and foremost, be about the needs of the American people. As Vermont's senator and the longest-serving Independent in American congressional history, let me lay out what I believe some of those issues are:

In the United States today, the middle-class is shrinking, poverty is increasing and the gap between the very rich and everyone else is growing wider. There are many economists who believe that, if we do not reverse course, for the first time in modern history our children will have a lower standard of living than their parents. Our country also has the dubious distinctions of having both the highest rate of childhood poverty in the industrialized world and more people in jail than any other country. Question: What specific ideas do the candidates have as to how we can grow the middle class and create good paying jobs, while protecting our children and the most vulnerable members of our society?

In the United States today, 46 million Americans have no health insurance, even more are underinsured, and we are the only major country on earth without universal coverage. Health care costs are soaring despite the fact that we already spend twice as much per person as any other country. Many employers, large and small, are now cutting back on the coverage they provide their employees making a tough economy even tougher for millions of workers. Question: Do the candidates believe that all Americans are entitled to health care as a right of citizenship? What are their plans for assuring that quality health care is delivered in a cost-effective manner?

Most of the leading scientists in the world believe that global warming, if not reversed, will lead to severe weather disturbances, flooding, drought, hunger, and mass human migration. These scientists also believe that global warming is a more threatening problem than previously perceived, and that bold action is needed to reverse greenhouse gas emissions. Question: Do the candidates believe that global warming is real and a man-made phenomenon? If so, what specific actions are they proposing to reverse global warming? On a related energy issue, what ideas do they have to make our country energy independent?

The United States is now in the sixth year of the war in Iraq, the Taliban is gaining military strength in Afghanistan, the political situation in Pakistan is becoming more unstable, Russia and Georgia have just completed a bloody war, and little progress has been made in easing tensions between Israel and her neighbors. Question: What are the principles that will guide the candidates' foreign policy? What specific steps will they take to combat international terrorism? How will they restore America's position in the international community and help create a more peaceful world?

These are just a few of the major issues facing our nation. I realize there are many more. It seems to me that no matter what our political views are, or what we may consider the most important issues to be, as a democratic society we must demand of the media and the candidates that this campaign focus on the great challenges facing our country and the world. Gossip, melodrama and political tactics just won't do.

A friend of mine died Wednesday. He died alone. He died after being abandoned and forgotten by the government that drafted and sent him to war. He died because of that war, despite it being 'over' 30 + years ago. It never ended for him. It never ended because he was exposed to a vile substance known as 'Agent Orange'. He not only lost his limbs due to this, he lost his dignity and that is what led to him becoming increasingly bitter in the past few years.


I was honored to have known and worked with Michael. It was a privilege I will never forget.

Tonight I am angry and bitter for him.

My original post for Michael can be found here:

http://salz-babels.livejournal.com/2006/12/09/

I am also going to copy the text of that post here. Rest in Peace my friend, it is a well deserved peace.


December 9th, 2006
A Man Called Wheels

* Dec. 9th, 2006 at 12:03 AM


There is a man I know that everyone calls Wheels. He has this name because he is a in a wheelchair, but is always moving. He hasn't always been in a wheelchair. Once upon a time, he was a strong young man, walking proudly upright as his country sent him off to a faraway land to fight a war against an enemy he did not know. It did not matter that he did not know this enemy, his country said he must go, so go he did.

He came home a very different man. A man without legs. A man that had only a thumb remaining on one hand and not even that much remained on the other. He did not let it stop him, though. He spent much time in a local VA hospital and fought his demons in his mind. He learned to adapt to life as a man called Wheels.

Wheels now works at a large retail establishment. He is part of the floor staff and is all over the building, all day, every day. He uses what remains of his hands to propel that wheelchair faster than many walk. The palms of his hands are thick with calluses. He drives himself to work in his vintage Oldsmobile. He uses a manual wheelchair, never electric. He does not have an automatic lift device to get him in and out of his vehicle. He most always has a smile and a kind word for everyone, and he WORKS. He does not just have a job. Many have jobs, but a lot seldom ever work. Wheels works, all day, every day, and as he works he watches. He sees so much that others walk on past. He sees when someone is struggling and he pauses to offer a kind word. He sees when someone is lagging behind and he pauses to offer his help. He sees when there are little things to be done, and if he cannot do it himself, he finds someone that can. Most of all though, he sees things others do not want to see.

There is a new man at the business. A man of limited capabilities and skills. He has been hired to work the lot, bring in carts and load purchases. It is a tedious job, and on days like yesterday, a cold and thankless one.
He wore only a light jacket as he sat trying to warm his hands on a cup of coffee in the break room. Wheels sat and watched for a short while and then abruptly left the room without speaking to anyone. This was quite unusual.

A short while later he returned and first tossed a pair of gloves in front of the man. "Wear these" he gruffly said. The man looked surprised and slowly stuttered out his thanks. At this point he stood and said "I better get back to it, right?"

Wheels barked at him "hold it a minute". The man froze with a deer in the headlights look in his eyes. Wheels then threw a heavy, hooded sweatshirt, tags still in place, at him and said "see if it fits".

The man removed his pitifully thin coat and pulled on the sweatshirt. He was beaming as he said "jjjust right, sir".

Wheels replied, "I'm not sir. Take the tags off it and put your coat and gloves on and get back to work." As the man complied, Wheels pulled a receipt out of his pocket and said "the jacket is yours, but keep this receipt in case anyone has any questions. Just tell them you bought it earlier." Then he left the breakroom and headed off across the store. The man stood there with a bewildered look on his face for a moment, then beaming with pride headed back out into the cold, to do his thankless job.

Wheels is a man most would consider to have been robbed of much of his life, yet he is one of the most fully alive people I have ever met. He LIVES every moment of his days. How many of us can say we conciously live our moments, hours, days, years?

He also has a wonderful way of SEEING what is really there, when others just look, yet walk on by.

I would like to challenge all of us to be a bit more like a man called Wheels.

Salz~

what makes the most sense is just going back to the basics.

Remembering that you define yourself. Others don't define you. Career or job choices don't define you. Fate or chance do not define you.

I'd forgotten that somewhere along the way.

Tonight I was doing some ironing and listening to the news when I had a sudden epiphany.  I find immense comfort in mundane chores that show immediate, tangible results.  They are soothing to me.

Ironing in particular.  The familiar scents of the damp fabric, starch and the hot iron.  Seeing the immediate results of smoothing out the wrinkles.  

I wondered for awhile about this.  Why do I find such tasks pleasurable?  Is it because I can see the immediate results?  Or is it because of the comfort associated with the memories that are evoked?  My grandmother taught me to iron, but my memories of watching my mother doing this chore are even more firmly entrenched.

In particular, I remember my mother ironing as she watched As the World Turns as my brother and I sat on the floor eating chicken noodle soup.  That memory is from a very stable period in my childhood.  Life was well ordered.  Mother was well, dad must not have been drinking too heavily, as he had been employed by the Post Office for several years at that point.  Life was orderly and I knew what to expect from one day to the next.  We got up and had breakfast.  We played.  Mother fixed lunch and while we ate it, she ironed in front of the tv.  I don't remember a lot of turmoil from this time in my childhood.  I think life was good at that time.  Our home was in order and mother seemed peaceful.

*shrugs*   I don't know why......but for me, these mundane tasks and the resultant pleasure in completing them seems to be therapeutic.  Maybe I just needed to take in ironing instead of popping an antidepressant every day, LOL.  Seriously, though.....I'm finding myself experiencing things on a lot of levels that I seemed oblivious too while I was on the SSRI meds.  I'm still having a fair number of ups and downs, but over all, I think going off the meds was a good decision.

I'm taking time to stop and smell the roses.....or the fresh laundry...best of all, I'm not just coming home and sitting on my tush every night.  I actually have the desire to get things done again, and I like what I am accomplishing.

I have always known that my name has a meaning other than as a name.  It is an old fashioned sort of word and not often used in contemporary language.  In works of old you often read that someone was preparing to sally forth...or something of that nature.

Tonight I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs and AAG (AlwaysArousedGirl) was discussing a recent adventure and she made reference to preparing to sally forth wearing a rather unusual device.  It was an interesting read, as always over at her place.

It got me thinking though and I plugged my name into Dictionary.com.

This is what I found:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This